“Turkey” Tactical Response and Combat Enforcer

Mar 19, 2003

*The following is a broadcast of a press release from Carlos MacLeod, Chief Engineer at the Riff Industries Robotic Design Studio* Ladies and Gentlemen, distinguished guests, it is my pleasure to introduce to you the latest model from Riff Industries, the TRCE, Tactical Response and Combat Enforcer. You may notice at first its odd shape. We can chalk that up to our marketing managers apparently partaking of one too many frosty refreshing adult beverages right before receiving this contract. They apparently misheard the acronym specified by the Government for this project, and relayed to our equally inebriated concept design team that a turkey was desired. By the time that we realized the miscommunication, we were too far into the design, but frankly, by that time I’d thought that maybe a giant mechanized turkey of death is just what we needed to have on the market. The decision was made to complete the design. We did have to retrofit a few weapons into the initial design, though. Below we can see the external design of the TRCE. The head uses Galidorian Technology to enable it to articulate very well. Four thrusters provide the oomph to get the TRCE moving, and yes, this bird can fly, although it’s not exactly graceful. The legs may not be strong looking, but the yellow paint enables them to be much stronger, faster, and more powerful than they’d be in any other color. The tail “feathers” act as heat dissipators for the Fusion reactor, as well as provide all of the sensor inputs that the many weapons systems require. Finally, we have a single man cockpit mounted in the top center of the torso. The highly advanced Riff Industries designed AI assists the pilot with controlling the weapons. A sophisticated gyro system keeps everything balanced when the TRCE is in action. You may notice the support pylon underneath the body. That’s only in place as a stabilizer when the TRCE is inactive.

The weapons systems on the TRCE are of particular interest. Each one is enclosed behind protective shielding panels, so as to keep their existence a secret for as long as possible in battle. While the enemy is marveling at the utter ridiculousness and surreality of a combat Turkey, the weapons deploy and blast that smiles right off their faces. We’ll take a glance at each of the deployable systems now. First are the dorsal hatches, which enclose a majority of the weaponry. These include, on each side, the following:

  • A pair of MK4 Torg Class Laser cannons
  • A MK5 Oasis Class Hyperdiscombobulator
  • A Flare launcher
  • A Scorpion Missile Pod, with 9 missiles

Above the dorsal hatch are a pair of doors on each side. At the base of the neck is the location of each of the Bert Class MK2 Laser Cannon Clusters. Beneath the wings are the locations of my personal favorite weapons, the heavy metal Tri-cannons. Nothing like good old fashioned projectile weaponry to really make life worth living.

The real crowd favorites, though, are what our engineers have playfully dubbed the White Meat Missiles. These six High Yield Tactical Fusion Missiles pack an incredible punch, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

The final weapon, well, even I’m not exactly sure what it does. It’s been test fired in the lab, but not on a full sized vehicle like this. It probably ought to be used as a last resort, so don’t be pointing this one at your friends.

So there you have it, the Riff Industries TRCE Tactical Response and Combat Enforcer. And remember our slogan, “More Power Is Never Enough”. Thank you and good night.

*end broadcast*